Cellar Bar Rods

The cellar door sticks, the lamp above the table hums, and the felt has seen better decades. Cellar Bar Rods is a top down table football game where you never control a single paddle. You control four rods, and working out which one to hold is the whole game. FOUR RODS, ONE BALL Every rod on your side of the table has a different job. The keeper covers the mouth. The two man defence sweeps the near post. The five man midfield chokes the middle. The three man attack finishes. The rival rods sit interleaved between yours, exactly as they do on a real table. Only one rod answers to your finger at a time, so every second you are choosing: hold the line, or step up and shoot. SLIDE AND STRIKE Drag sideways to slide the held rod along its lane. Flick upward, tap the table, or press STRIKE to swing the figures over the ball. Where the ball meets the boot sets the angle it leaves at, and a rod that is already sliding adds its own drift and extra pace. Aiming is a real skill here, not a dice roll. Auto rod select hands you whichever rod is best placed for the ball and it is on by default. Turn it off and pick your lanes yourself, either by tapping a lane on the table or with the four rod buttons underneath it. RESPECT THE COOLDOWN Every swing locks that rod for a short beat, so there is no machine gun spinning. Miss the ball and you are left swinging at air while it rolls past. Learning when not to strike is half of it. AN HONEST OPPONENT The rival works its own four rods with a reaction delay and an aim that wanders, and it never gets any information you do not have. Its keeper tracks the ball line, its defenders cover the near post, and its attackers wait for a pass lane. Three levels: Casual, Club and Ace. THREE WAYS TO PLAY Quick Match. Choose first to three, five or seven and settle it in one game. Tournament. Quarter final, semi final, final, with the opponent stepping up a level every round. Practice. One attack rod, one lit gate sliding along the far end, and as long as you like to groove your angles. YOUR RECORD Matches won and played, goals for and against, goal difference, shot accuracy, goals per shot, clean sheet wins, comeback wins, current and best winning streak, tournament trophies and practice hit rate. Sixteen awards to dig out of the cellar, all earned by playing. BUILT TO BE LEFT ALONE Completely offline. No internet permission, no accounts, no ads, no analytics, no in app purchases, and no sound at all, so it plays just as well in a waiting room or on a late train as it does at home. Feedback is visual, with optional haptics you can switch off. Everything you do is stored on your device and nowhere else. Portrait only, comfortable in one hand, and drawn entirely with vector graphics so the table stays crisp on any screen.