HeadsUpDaddy

He doesn't know what week it is. Now he will. HeadsUpDaddy tracks the cycles of the women in your life — your partner, your daughter — and tells you, in plain language, what is actually going on and what is coming. A comedy product that happens to be accurate: the jokes are why you install it, the cycle maths is why you keep it. WHAT IT DOES • A DEFCON readout for the day: where she is, and how far out the hard stretch is • A daily briefing — the phase, the day inside it, the biology behind it, and what to actually do • Notifications before the difficult days, not after • A home screen widget, a Quick Settings tile, and app shortcuts for one-tap logging • History and a log sheet, so a wrong date is a thirty-second fix THE RULE The joke is always aimed at you. Never at her. The mascot is a hapless dad who is not winning, and that is the entire point. Daughter profiles are locked to the plainest voice, with no jokes at all. SHOW HER There is a screen built to be handed over. It shows everything the app stores, everything it predicts, and a delete button that genuinely deletes. Consent is not an afterthought here — the app asks for it before it will track anyone. PRIVATE BY CONSTRUCTION No account. No server. No analytics. No crash reporter. Her cycle data never leaves your phone — backup to Google Drive is switched off so that sentence is literally true. FREE AND FULL Free tracks one person in a plain, informational voice — complete and useful on its own. The full version is a single payment, no subscription: every tone the app has, including Unfiltered, and as many people as you need to keep track of. Not medical advice. Not a contraceptive. Not a fertility treatment.