Boomer-ai: Ask a Boomer

Ask a Boomer anything. Type a modern problem, or tap one of the examples, and a stereotypical British boomer answers it on a retro 1995-style desktop. Outdated opinions, 1983 house prices, a firm handshake, and a dad joke every single time. It's a funny AI with a very old-fashioned personality. WHAT HE'LL SAY Rent too high? He bought a three-bedroom house for £34,000, and he'll tell you about it. Situationship left you on read? He's never heard of a situationship and he's not sure he approves. Burnout? He worked sixty hours a week and still had time to wash the car. Every answer ends with a dad joke, whether you wanted one or not. A PROPER 90s DESKTOP • Dial-up modem noises while he thinks (you can mute them) • A Recycle Bin full of things he threw away • Aunt Carol's 1982 recipes in Notepad • The Paperclip, an assistant who won't leave you alone • A Start menu, a taskbar and a clock that ticks Pure 90s nostalgia, if you were there. A history lesson if you weren't. SHARE THE WISDOM Every answer can be shared as a picture to your chats, stories and feeds. Boomer memes, made to order. Send one to your parents and see if they notice. DAILY WISDOM One line from the Boomer every morning at 8:30, if you want it. Switch it on during setup, from the desktop or in the Control Panel, and off again whenever you like. HE'S WATCHING YOUR SCREEN TIME (ANDROID) Let him see how long you spend on your phone and he'll tell you exactly what he thinks of it, with a word about it at 8pm if there's one to say. It's worked out on your phone and never leaves it, and he only ever names well-known everyday apps. GOOD TO KNOW • Free, no sign-up, no account • Your questions aren't stored • If a question sounds serious, the Boomer steps aside and shows real UK support lines instead of a joke • It's a joke app. Nothing he says is advice, financial or otherwise. Made by Moola, the money guidance app, for anyone who's ever been told to just stop buying avocado toast.