Bus 3rd Live

Welcome aboard the very first release of Bus 3rd — a parody transit app where nothing works as intended and that's entirely the point. Arrival times lie, the bus drives into the sea, and aunties will steal your seat. None of it is real. Don't use it to catch an actual bus. What's inside Arrivals board — Live, chaotic countdowns featuring negative minutes, 420m waits, soon™, and the occasional bus that's just "napping." Chope a seat — Tap an empty seat to reserve it. Look away too long and a randomly-generated auntie will claim it. Live Map™ — A hand-painted map (no Google Maps, no API key) with a bus that wanders off-route and into the ocean. Prank notifications — Local-only comedy alerts you can fire off anytime from More → Send a prank now. AI nonsense (optional) — Opt-in online mode adds never-repeating gags, an "Ask the Uncle" chatbot, "Roast my commute" forecasts, and a personalized Give Up certificate. Privacy Fully offline by default — no accounts, no analytics, no location, nothing leaves your device. The optional AI mode is off unless you flip it on in About → Online jokes; only then is typed text sent (via a Supabase Edge Function) to generate jokes. Settings persist locally